Speaking Truth
by
Mike Hamilton
We are called to love others while dying for them. I should be able to stop the blog right there. Except just like Satan in the garden, our world has subtly lied to us. Political Correctness, a form of lying, has lured us into the idea that it is better to tell partial truths and keep everyone happy than it is to speak Truth. I'm not a Pharisee, I'm not here to tell you that if you lie to your wife and tell her you love her new hair but inside you know it looks terrible that you are a terrible sinner. And if we can just for a moment or two while I'm speaking about this topic lay aside the idea of sin....or we may become lost. What I am writing about tonight is the importance of speaking Truth to those who you are called to Love. Without Truth your offering of "love" is no love at all. It is the world's substitute for Love which leads to dead things. Dead relationships, dead intimacy, dead heart movement, even in some ways a dead Gospel.
Truth is tied more to Love than to the Law of "doing it right because we are supposed to do it right". I saw a tweet last night that said "If you don't honor your mother or father how will you raise kids who will honor you? #reapwhatyousow. The man who tweeted this is a well known pastor, but unfortunately he is well known for speaking harsh truth from harsh places leading to harsh reactions. It might play well for publicity but its never received as a grace filled offering that leads you to be thirsty for a God who would know you and love you. The tweet he sent suggests something that I'm not sure he can back up biblically, a harsh God who is waiting for you to screw up so He can put it on your head ten fold. There are so many variables that go into why someone would be in that position that stating it that way is nothing short of irresponsible. What about abused kids who are now adults? What about kids who were neglected? Not loved well? Children who were treated as a nuisance? My point is, the next part of the scripture speaks to the parents responsibility to the children...statements such as this are divisive, not grace oriented nor Loving.
When we are speaking Truth into people's lives we have to be willing to be powerless in the midst of doing so. Yes, POWERLESS. We seem to be able to lovingly tell a lie or very boldly and harshly speak "truth", but no one seems to be able to speak Truth without bucking up for it. If Truth does not come from a tender loving place from within your heart, it is better left unsaid. (mind you we are talking deep hard topics that are a part of a healthy intimate relationship, not "your dress is pretty"). Truth spoken out of Love often leaves the speaker feeling weak, fearing rejection or retaliation. And the loving thing to do in response to those feelings? Lay down your swords, pull of your armor....allow that person to do what they may. As a counselor I have the very odd job of having to love my clients well in ways that not only disturb their wounded hearts but also disturbs them in ways that may make them want to leave. Spoken Truths do not often set well with people who want to remain in control of their hearts and lives for their own gain.
We are all called to do this and trust me it can feel awful, it can actually feel more like Death than a dead relationship or dead intimacy. It is an active, vulnerable place where you are exchanging everything good for an unknown response from the receiver. But this much you can count on, I have never spoken hard things into a person's life and heart from a loving place and regretted it. It almost always leads to tears, connection, brokenness, safety, heart movement. Most people hedge their bets on safe interactions that rob them of life and purpose, settling into a life of existence....disrupting this life strategy is courageous, disruption through lovingly telling someone what is real. It almost never feels like Life when we begin to enter those waters with someone we care for but I have never entered and not found Life there. It is worth it, the people you love are worth it.....even if it is messy and scary and dark....you will find Him there, even if the people you are speaking to do not follow.
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